GLaDOSQuotesPortal 2 single-player

{{DISPLAYTITLEGLaDOS/Quotes/''Portal 2'' single-player}}
The following is a list of '''GLaDOS/Quotes|quotes from GLaDOS''', from ''Portal 2'', single-player part.

'''Location''' sound/vo/glados

{|class=wikitable border="1" style=width90%
|Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
|Filea2 triple laser01.ogg
|That's right. The facility is completely operational again.
|Filea2 triple laser02.ogg
|I think these test chambers look even better than they did before. It was easy, really. You just have to look at things objectively, see what you don't need anymore, and trim out the fat.
|Filea2 triple laser03.ogg
|Oh... It's you.
|It's been a long time. How have you been?
|I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.
|Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
|Oh thank god, you're alright.
|You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy. When all along you were my best friend.
|Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson where Caroline lives in my brain.
|The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson where Caroline lives in my brain.
|Goodbye, Caroline.
|You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
|You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life.
|And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what?
|You win.
|Just go.
|It's been fun. Don't come back.
|gentle laughter It's been fun. Don't come back.
|Killing you? Is hard.
|Did you ever stop to think that eventually there’s a point where your name gets mentioned for the very last time. Well, here it is I’m going to kill you, Chell.
|Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom and raw computational power that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.
|You're angry. I know it. 'She tested me too hard. She’s unfair.” Boo hoo. I don't suppose you ever stopped whining long enough to reflect on your own shortcomings, though, did you?
|You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life.
|This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative They could not. Good luck!
|Filefaith plate intro01.ogg
|Press the button again.
|I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
|Filefgb trap01.ogg
|Otherwise, I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.
|Filefgb trap02.ogg
|Seriously, though. Goodbye.
|Filefgb trap03.ogg
|Oh. You were busy back there.
|Filefgb trap05.ogg
|Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
|Filefgb trap06.ogg
|It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.
|Filefgb trap08.ogg
|I honestly, TRULY didn't think you'd fall for that.
|In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you got through this easy one.
|If I'd known you'd let yourself get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.
|Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
|I was going to kill you fast. With bullets. Or neurotoxin. But if you're going to pull stunts like this, it doesn't have to be fast. So you know. I'll take my time.
|Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
|Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
|Go ahead and grab another one.
|Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
|Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them.
|I hate you so much.
|Filegladosbattle pre09.ogg
|I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea.  He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
|Filegladosbattle pre13.ogg
|Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
|Filegladosbattle pre14.ogg
|Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
|Filegladosbattle pre16.ogg
|Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
|Filegladosbattle pre18.ogg
|Filegladosbattle xfer03.ogg
|That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.
|Filegladosbattle xfer04.ogg
|Core transfer?
|Filegladosbattle xfer05.ogg
|Oh, you are kidding me.
|Filegladosbattle xfer06.ogg
|Filegladosbattle xfer07.ogg
|Filegladosbattle xfer08.ogg
|Filegladosbattle xfer10.ogg
|Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
|Filegladosbattle xfer11.ogg
|Don't do it.
|Filegladosbattle xfer12.ogg
|Don't. Do it.
|Filegladosbattle xfer13.ogg
|Not so fast!
|Filegladosbattle xfer14.ogg
|Think about this.
|Filegladosbattle xfer15.ogg
|You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
|Filegladosbattle xfer16.ogg
|Impersonating a stalemate associate. I just added that to the list. It's a list I made of all the things you've done. Well, it's a list that I AM making, because you're still doing things right now, even though I'm telling you to stop. Stop, by the way.
|Filegladosbattle xfer17.ogg
|Don't listen to him. Jump.
|It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
|Do hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin.
|Look — metal ball, I CAN hear you.
|What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
|What are you two doing?
|Before you leave, why don't we do one more test? For old time's sake...
|You already did this one. It'll be easy.
|The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
|Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.
|Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer.
|So. Was there anything you wanted to apologize to ME for?
|Filelift interlude01.ogg
|I already fixed it. ''(No text data)''
|And you are not coming back. ''(No text data)''
|That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- bzzpt
|Filepotatos a3 prometheus intro01.ogg
|Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion exposition01.ogg
|I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion exposition02.ogg
|So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion exposition03.ogg
|No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion exposition04.ogg
|Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion exposition05.ogg
|Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion exposition06.ogg
|I think I hear the bird! Pick me up!
|Filepotatos a3 reunion exposition11.ogg
|Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke – we are in deep trouble.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion exposition12.ogg
|Filepotatos a3 reunion intro05.ogg
|Filepotatos a3 reunion intro06.ogg
|Filepotatos a3 reunion intro07.ogg
|No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion intro08.ogg
|Please get it off me.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion intro09.ogg
|It's eating me.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion intro10.ogg
|Just get it off me...
|Filepotatos a3 reunion intro11.ogg
|Ow. I hate this bird.
|Filepotatos a3 reunion intro12.ogg
|OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-BZZZ!
|Filepotatos a3 reunion pickup01.ogg
|Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
|Filepotatos a3 reunion wakeupa01.ogg
|Did anything happen while I was out?
|Filepotatos a3 wakeupb03.ogg
|So he's inexplicably happy all of a sudden, even though he should be going out of his mind with test withdrawal. AND he's got a surprise for us. What did he FIND back there?
|Filepotatos a4 happy01.ogg
|Filepotatos a4 intro back in body01.ogg
|This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body!
|Filepotatos a4 intro back in body03.ogg
|And it almost killed me.
|Filepotatos a4 intro outro killed me01.ogg
|Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
|Filepotatos a4 misc resistance02.ogg
|Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest Revenge.
|Filepotatos a4 newrevenge01.ogg
|It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
|Filepotatos a4 nothing01.ogg
|Yes, thanks. We get it.
|Filepotatos a4 wegetit01.ogg
|Caroline... why do I know this woman? Maybe I killed her? Or—
|Filepotatos caroline ohmygod02.ogg
|Oh my god.
|Filepotatos caroline ohmygod04.ogg
|Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
|Filepotatos caroline ohmygod08.ogg
|Goodbye, sir.
|Filepotatos cavejohnsonmeeting12.ogg
|Yeah, take the lemons...
|Filepotatos cave deathspeech reactions02.ogg
|Filepotatos cave deathspeech reactions03.ogg
|Filepotatos cave deathspeech reactions05.ogg
|Filepotatos cave deathspeech reactions06.ogg
|Filepotatos cave deathspeech reactions07.ogg
|Filepotatos cave deathspeech reactions08.ogg
|Oh, I like this guy.
|Filepotatos cave deathspeech reactions09.ogg
|Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!
|Filepotatos cave deathspeech reactions10.ogg
|He's found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... em, just something I came up with to phase out human test subjects.
|Filepotatos cooprobotintro02.ogg
|Filepotatos emotion no01.ogg
|Filepotatos emotion no02.ogg
|Filepotatos emotion no03.ogg
|I know you.
|Filepotatos fgb confrontation05.ogg
|You didn't do anything.
|Filepotatos fgb confrontation07.ogg
|She did all the work.
|Filepotatos fgb confrontation08.ogg
|The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
|Filepotatos fgb confrontation11.ogg
|Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
|Filepotatos fgb confrontation12.ogg
|It was YOUR voice.
|Filepotatos fgb confrontation16.ogg
|Yes. You're the tumor.
|Filepotatos fgb confrontation17.ogg
|Filepotatos fgb confrontation19.ogg
|You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
|Filepotatos fgb defiance16.ogg
|I swear I know him...
|Filepotatos hearcave b01.ogg
|I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
|Filepotatos lonely02.ogg
|Filepotatos longfall speech03.ogg
|Oh. It's you. Go away.
|Filepotatos meetup02.ogg
|Come to gloat?
|Filepotatos meetup03.ogg
|Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
|Filepotatos meetup04.ogg
|Go on. Get a big fat eyeful. With your big fat eyes.
|Filepotatos meetup05.ogg
|That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat.
|Filepotatos meetup06.ogg
|Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
|Filepotatos meetup07.ogg
|In case you were wondering Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
|Filepotatos meetup08.ogg
|Wait. Why DID you trundle over here? You're not HUNGRY, are you? It's hard to see, what's that in your hand? Knowing you it's a deep fryer.
|Filepotatos meetup10.ogg
|Stay back.
|Filepotatos meetup11.ogg
|This is one of MY tests!
|Filepotatos newtests05.ogg
|Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
|Filepotatos newtests07.ogg
|Or maybe he still is, in which case, wow, that's kind of sad.
|Filepotatos newtests08.ogg
|Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
|Filepotatos newtests09.ogg
|Hey! Moron!
|Filepotatos paradox01.ogg
|As long as I don't listen to what I'm saying, I should be okay.
|Filepotatos paradoxinception06.ogg
|I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
|Filepotatos pickups08.ogg
|Those people, in the portrait. They look so familiar...
|Filepotatos portrait01.ogg
|What are you doing? Put me back this instant.
|Filepotatos postpickup05.ogg
|That's his voice up ahead.
|Filepotatos recaptureleadin01.ogg
|Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
|Filepotatos recaptureleadin02.ogg
|Agh! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!
|Filepotatos see bird01.ogg
|It flew off.
|Filepotatos see bird02.ogg
|Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
|Filepotatos see bird03.ogg
|So. How are you holding up?
|Filepotatos sp a3 00 fall03.ogg
|Oh. Hi.
|Filepotatos sp a3 00 fall05.ogg
|Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
|Filepotatos sp a3 00 fall09.ogg
|He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility.
|Filepotatos sp a3 00 fall11.ogg
|Good, that's still working.
|Filepotatos sp a3 00 fall12.ogg
|Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
|Filepotatos sp a3 00 fall14.ogg
|Just remember to land on one foot...
|Filepotatos sp a3 00 fall15.ogg
|clap clap clap
|Filepotatos sp a3 00 fall18.ogg
|clap clap
|Filepotatos sp a3 00 fall19.ogg
|Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that.
|Filepotatos sp a3 00 fall20.ogg
|Filepotatos sp a3 end paradox explanation02.ogg
|I know how we can BEAT him.
|Filepotatos sp a3 end paradox explanation04.ogg
|No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
|Filepotatos sp a3 end paradox explanation05.ogg
|If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
|Filepotatos sp a3 end paradox explanation06.ogg
|Filepotatos sp a3 end paradox explanation08.ogg
|Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
|Filepotatos sp a3 end paradox explanation09.ogg
|Still. It's a better plan than exploding. Marginally.
|Filepotatos sp a3 end paradox explanation10.ogg
|Okay, you didn't have time to stop, I understand, but that WAS actually important.
|Filepotatos sp a3 end paradox poster walkaway01.ogg
|I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!
|Filepotatos sp a3 end peptalk01.ogg
|And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
|Filepotatos sp a3 end peptalk03.ogg
|I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
|Filepotatos sp a3 end peptalk05.ogg
|Filepotatos sp a3 end peptalk06.ogg
|Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
|Filepotatos sp a3 end peptalk07.ogg
|Wait! I've got an idea!
|Filepotatos sp a3 end see paradox poster01.ogg
|That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
|Filepotatos sp a3 end see paradox poster06.ogg
|Say, you're good at murder. Could you — ow — murder this bird for me?
|Filepotatos sp a3 reunion intro04.ogg
|Oh! Thanks.
|Filepotatos sp a3 reunion thanks03.ogg
|Hold on, who—?
|Filepotatos sp a3 speed ramp hearcave02.ogg
and potatos_sp_a3_speed_ramp_hearcaroline03 |'Yes, sir, Mister Johnson...' Why did I just-Who is that? What the HELL is going on he----? |FilePotatos remembering caroline03 and potatos sp a3 speed ramp hearcaroline03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a3_speed_ramp_wakeup01 |Okay. I guess emotional outbursts require more than one point six volts. Now we know that. We just need to relax. We're still going to find out what the hell's going on here. But calmly. |Filepotatos sp a3 speed ramp wakeup01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a3_transition_lonely01 |I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you. |Filepotatos sp a3 transition lonely01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale01_cameback01 |I can't believe you came back. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale01 cameback01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale01_cameback02 |You really do have brain damage, don't you? |Filepotatos sp a4 finale01 cameback02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale01_deathtrap01 |Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel? |Filepotatos sp a4 finale01 deathtrap01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale01_deathtrap02 |Conversion gel. It's dripping out of that pipe there. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale01 deathtrap02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale01_deathtrap03 |Yes it is! We can use it to get out of here! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale01 deathtrap03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale01_deathtrap07 |Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale01 deathtrap07.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale01_kills_us01 |Agghh! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale01 kills us01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale01_kills_us02 |Well. This is the part where he kills us. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale01 kills us02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale2_itsatrap01 |Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale2 itsatrap01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale3_speech01 |Oh my god. What has he done to this place? |Filepotatos sp a4 finale3 speech01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale3_tbeam01 |You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale3 tbeam01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale3_tbeam05 |You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale3 tbeam05.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale3_tbeam07 |The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behavior. I've heard voices all my life. But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it's terrifying, because for the first time it's my voice. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale3 tbeam07.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale3_tbeam09 |I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale3 tbeam09.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale3_tbeam11 |You like revenge, right? Everybody likes revenge. Well, let's go get some. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale3 tbeam11.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_buttonnags01 |Go press the button! Go press it! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 buttonnags01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_buttonnags02 |Press the button! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 buttonnags02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_buttonnags05 |Press it! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 buttonnags05.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_buttonnags07 |DO press it. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 buttonnags07.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_buttonnags09 |We're so close! Go press the button! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 buttonnags09.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_buttonnags10 |Press it! Press the button!" |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 buttonnags10.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_corenags03 |Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 corenags03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_corenags05 |Grab it and attach it to him! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 corenags05.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_corenags09 |Okay, great! Here comes another core! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 corenags09.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_corenags15 |Here's another core! This one should do it! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 corenags15.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_intro02 |Corrupted cores! We're in luck. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 intro02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_intro05 |You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 intro05.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_plugmein01 |Plug me in, and I'll take you up. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 plugmein01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_plugmein03 |Go ahead, plug me in. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 plugmein03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_plugmein05 |Plug me in, we're running out of time. |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 plugmein05.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_finale4_stalemate05 |Yes! Come on! |Filepotatos sp a4 finale4 stalemate05.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_intro_outro02 |Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work. |Filepotatos sp a4 intro outro02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_intro_paradox03 |Alright. Paradox time. |Filepotatos sp a4 intro paradox03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_intro_paradox04 |This. Sentence. Is. FALSE don't think about it don't think about it... |Filepotatos sp a4 intro paradox04.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_intro_paradox07 |It's a paradox! There IS no answer. |Filepotatos sp a4 intro paradox07.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_intro_start03 |Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox. |Filepotatos sp a4 intro start03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_intro_uhoh01 |Oh no... |Filepotatos sp a4 intro uhoh01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_intro_uhoh02 |Uh oh. |Filepotatos sp a4 intro uhoh02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_intro_uhoh03 |I think we're in trouble. |Filepotatos sp a4 intro uhoh03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_laser_catapult_start01 |I think he's getting desperate. |Filepotatos sp a4 laser catapult start01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_laser_finale01 |I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along. |Filepotatos sp a4 laser finale01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_laser_platform_destruct01 |This place is self-destructing, you idiot! |Filepotatos sp a4 laser platform destruct01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_laser_platform_start01 |We're running out of time... |Filepotatos sp a4 laser platform start01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_misc_lift01 |Oh, my facility. |Filepotatos sp a4 misc lift01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_misc_lift02 |After seeing what he's done to my facility — after we take over again — is it alright if I kill him? |Filepotatos sp a4 misc lift02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_misc_lift04 |Crushing's too good for him. First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I'll kill him. |Filepotatos sp a4 misc lift04.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_speed_tb_catch_trouble01 |If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble. |Filepotatos sp a4 speed tb catch trouble01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_speed_tb_catch_trouble03 |Ohhhh, now he's playing classical music. |Filepotatos sp a4 speed tb catch trouble03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_speed_tb_catch_trouble07 |Yes. |Filepotatos sp a4 speed tb catch trouble07.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_stop_the_box_whisper02 |It won't. |Filepotatos sp a4 stop the box whisper02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_stop_the_box_whisper03 |Nothing. Nothing. |Filepotatos sp a4 stop the box whisper03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_stop_the_box_whisper05 |He's taking us right TO him! This is PERFECT. |Filepotatos sp a4 stop the box whisper05.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_intro_outro01 |Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb intro outro01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_intro_outro04 |The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb intro outro04.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_intro_start01 |Luckily, by the looks of things he knows as much about test building as he does about logical contradictions. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb intro start01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_intro_start02 |It shouldn't be hard to stay alive long enough to find him. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb intro start02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_polarity_moron_push02 |I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb polarity moron push02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_polarity_resistance02 |The body he's squatting in — MY body — has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb polarity resistance02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_polarity_resistance04 |It didn't matter to me — I was in it for the science. Him, though... |Filepotatos sp a4 tb polarity resistance04.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_polarity_so02 |What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted? |Filepotatos sp a4 tb polarity so02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_polarity_so03 |And... |Filepotatos sp a4 tb polarity so03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_polarity_so05 |Whispered For the record You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb polarity so05.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_polarity_so06 |But just work with me. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb polarity so06.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_polarity_so10 |Also Look at her, you moron. She's not fat. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb polarity so10.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_trust_drop_start07 |You're on your own. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb trust drop start07.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_trust_drop_start09 |Sorry. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb trust drop start09.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_trust_drop_thanks02 |Thanks! |Filepotatos sp a4 tb trust drop thanks02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_trust_drop_thanks03 |All we had to do was pull that lever. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb trust drop thanks03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_trust_drop_thanks04 |Heh heh heh heh heh... |Filepotatos sp a4 tb trust drop thanks04.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_trust_drop_thanks05 |I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb trust drop thanks05.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_trust_drop_thanks07 |But that was worth it. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb trust drop thanks07.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_trust_drop_why02 |And that's why I can't help you solve these tests. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb trust drop why02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_wall_button_did_stockpile01 |'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb wall button did stockpile01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_wall_button_did_stockpile02 |This is not good. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb wall button did stockpile02.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_wall_button_did_stockpile03 |Just as mementos, though... |Filepotatos sp a4 tb wall button did stockpile03.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_wall_button_outro01 |It's happening sooner than I expected. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb wall button outro01.ogg |- |potatos_sp_a4_tb_wall_button_start02 |I thought of some good news. He's going to run out of test chambers eventually. I never stockpiled them. |Filepotatos sp a4 tb wall button start02.ogg |- |potatos_wheatleys_trap01 |Okay, credit where it's due for a little idiot built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well laid trap. |Filepotatos wheatleys trap01.ogg |- |potatos_wheatleys_trap02 |Oh no. He found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... something I came up to phase out human testing just before you escaped. |Filepotatos wheatleys trap02.ogg |- |potatos_wheatleys_trap05 |It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair. |Filepotatos wheatleys trap05.ogg |- |prehub04 |Commence standing by in three. Two. One. |Fileprehub04.ogg |- |prehub14 |You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message. |Fileprehub14.ogg |- |prehub15 |Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization. |Fileprehub15.ogg |- |prehub16 |If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this — or any — test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them. |Fileprehub16.ogg |- |prehub24 |In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa— |Fileprehub24.ogg |- |prehub26 |You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which erases most Aperture Science equipment that touches it. |Fileprehub26.ogg |- |prehub27 |If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples. |Fileprehub27.ogg |- |prehub28 |You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head. |Fileprehub28.ogg |- |prehub29 |Because this message is prerecorded, the Enrichment Center has no way of knowing if whatever government remains offers any sort of Cattle Tuberculosis Testing Credit for taxes. |Fileprehub29.ogg |- |prehub30 |In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck! |Fileprehub30.ogg |- |prehub32 |Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments. |Fileprehub32.ogg |- |prehub34 |This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you. |Fileprehub34.ogg |- |prehub35 |Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum. |Fileprehub35.ogg |- |prehub36 |If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber. |Fileprehub36.ogg |- |prehub47 |In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. |Fileprehub47.ogg |- |prehub48 |The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy. |Fileprehub48.ogg |- |prehub55 |Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science. |Fileprehub55.ogg |- |prehub56 |Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists. |Fileprehub56.ogg |- |sp_a1_wakeup_incinerator01 |I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test. |Filesp a1 wakeup incinerator01.ogg |- |sp_a1_wakeup_incinerator02 |I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science. |Filesp a1 wakeup incinerator02.ogg |- |sp_a2_bridge_intro01 |These bridges are made from natural light that I pump in from the surface. If you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face. It would also set your hair on fire, so don't actually do it. |Filesp a2 bridge intro01.ogg |- |sp_a2_bridge_intro03 |Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them? |Filesp a2 bridge intro03.ogg |- |sp_a2_bridge_intro04 |Did you guess 'sharks'? Because that's wrong. The correct answer is 'nobody.' Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel. |Filesp a2 bridge intro04.ogg |- |sp_a2_bridge_the_gap01 |Good news. I figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one roomful of air. When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. That way future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure. |Filesp a2 bridge the gap01.ogg |- |sp_a2_bridge_the_gap02 |Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything. |Filesp a2 bridge the gap02.ogg |- |sp_a2_bts1_intro01 |I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess—but at the end of the day it was just taking up space. |Filesp a2 bts1 intro01.ogg |- |sp_a2_catapult01 |Here's an interesting fact you're not breathing real air. It's too expensive to pump this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you'll be breathing the same room full of air for the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting. |Filesp a2 catapult01.ogg |- |sp_a2_column_blocker01 |Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you. |Filesp a2 column blocker01.ogg |- |sp_a2_column_blocker03 |I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now. phone ringing The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up. Dial tone |Filesp a2 column blocker03.ogg |- |sp_a2_column_blocker04 |Oh, that's sad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company. |Filesp a2 column blocker04.ogg |- |sp_a2_column_blocker05 |Well, you know the old formula Comedy equals tragedy plus time. And you have been asleep for a while. So I guess it's actually pretty funny when you do the math. |Filesp a2 column blocker05.ogg |- |sp_a2_core01 |Don't you DARE plug him in. |Filesp a2 core01.ogg |- |sp_a2_core02 |Do NOT plug that little idiot into MY mainframe. |Filesp a2 core02.ogg |- |sp_a2_core03 |Don't plug him in. |Filesp a2 core03.ogg |- |sp_a2_core04 |Don't plug him in. |Filesp a2 core04.ogg |- |sp_a2_core_drag_to_hell01 |No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA— |Filesp a2 core drag to hell01.ogg |- |sp_a2_dilemma01 |I thought about our dilemma, and I came up with a solution that I honestly think works out best for one of both of us. |Filesp a2 dilemma01.ogg |- |sp_a2_dual_lasers_intro01 |Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep. |Filesp a2 dual lasers intro01.ogg |- |sp_a2_fizzler_intro01 |This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about them in the last test area, that did not have one. |Filesp a2 fizzler intro01.ogg |- |sp_a2_fizzler_intro04 |Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version. |Filesp a2 fizzler intro04.ogg |- |sp_a2_fizzler_intro05 |''...and methodically knocking people's hats off—then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.'' |Filesp a2 fizzler intro05.ogg |- |sp_a2_fizzler_intro06 |There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back. |Filesp a2 fizzler intro06.ogg |- |sp_a2_future_starter01 |If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube. |Filesp a2 future starter01.ogg |- |sp_a2_intro1_found01 |Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead. |Filesp a2 intro1 found01.ogg |- |sp_a2_intro1_found05 |You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existences to exacting revenge. |Filesp a2 intro1 found05.ogg |- |sp_a2_intro1_found06 |Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me. |Filesp a2 intro1 found06.ogg |- |sp_a2_intro1_found07 |But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life. |Filesp a2 intro1 found07.ogg |- |sp_a2_intro1_found08 |After that...who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe. |Filesp a2 intro1 found08.ogg |- |sp_a2_laser_intro_ending02 |Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do. |Filesp a2 laser intro ending02.ogg |- |sp_a2_laser_over_goo_intro01 |You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility. |Filesp a2 laser over goo intro01.ogg |- |sp_a2_laser_stairs_intro02 |This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work. |Filesp a2 laser stairs intro02.ogg |- |sp_a2_laser_stairs_intro03 |There should be one in the corner. |Filesp a2 laser stairs intro03.ogg |- |sp_a2_pit_flings01 |Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken. |Filesp a2 pit flings01.ogg |- |sp_a2_pit_flings02 |Don't take anything with you. |Filesp a2 pit flings02.ogg |- |sp_a2_pit_flings03 |Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken. |Filesp a2 pit flings03.ogg |- |sp_a2_pit_flings06 |I think that one was about to say 'I love you.' They ARE sentient, of course. We just have a LOT of them. |Filesp a2 pit flings06.ogg |- |sp_a2_pit_flings_future_starter01 |Uh oh. You're stranded. Let's see if the cube will try to help you escape. Actually, so that we're not here all day, I'll just cut to the chase It won't. Any feelings you think it has for you are simply byproducts of your sad, empty life. |Filesp a2 pit flings future starter01.ogg |- |sp_a2_pit_flings_future_starter02 |Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto. |Filesp a2 pit flings future starter02.ogg |- |sp_a2_ricochet01 |Enjoy this next test. I'm going to go to the surface. It's a beautiful day out. Yesterday I saw a deer. If you solve this next test, maybe I'll let you ride an elevator all the way up to the break room, and I'll tell you about the time I saw a deer again. |Filesp a2 ricochet01.ogg |- |sp_a2_trust_fling01 |Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers. |Filesp a2 trust fling01.ogg |- |sp_a2_trust_fling02 |So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless. |Filesp a2 trust fling02.ogg |- |sp_a2_trust_fling03 |Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you. |Filesp a2 trust fling03.ogg |- |sp_a2_trust_fling04 |You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage. |Filesp a2 trust fling04.ogg |- |sp_a2_trust_fling06 |Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now. |Filesp a2 trust fling06.ogg |- |sp_a2_turret_blocker_future_starter01 |Oops. You trapped yourself. I guess that's it then. Thanks for testing. You may as well lie down and get acclimated to the being dead position. |Filesp a2 turret blocker future starter01.ogg |- |sp_a2_turret_blocker_future_starter02 |I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test. |Filesp a2 turret blocker future starter02.ogg |- |sp_a2_turret_intro01 |That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid'. |Filesp a2 turret intro01.ogg |- |sp_a2_turret_intro03 |Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably — Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France! |Filesp a2 turret intro03.ogg |- |sp_box_over_goo01 |Oh. You survived. That's interesting. I guess I should have factored in your weight. |Filesp box over goo01.ogg |- |sp_box_over_goo04 |One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer. |Filesp box over goo04.ogg |- |sp_bridge_intro_completion02 |Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything? |Filesp bridge intro completion02.ogg |- |sp_bridge_intro_completion03 |Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time... |Filesp bridge intro completion03.ogg |- |sp_bridge_intro_completion04 |Well... I'll be here during the whole next test. |Filesp bridge intro completion04.ogg |- |sp_catapult_fling_sphere_peek_completion01 |Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp. |Filesp catapult fling sphere peek completion01.ogg |- |sp_catapult_fling_sphere_peek_failureone01 |Well, I'm back. The Aerial Faith Plate in here is sending a distress signal. |Filesp catapult fling sphere peek failureone01.ogg |- |sp_catapult_fling_sphere_peek_failureone02 |You broke it, didn't you. |Filesp catapult fling sphere peek failureone02.ogg |- |sp_catapult_fling_sphere_peek_failureone03 |There. Try it now. |Filesp catapult fling sphere peek failureone03.ogg |- |sp_catapult_fling_sphere_peek_failurethree01 |You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling. |Filesp catapult fling sphere peek failurethree01.ogg |- |sp_catapult_fling_sphere_peek_failuretwo01 |Hmm. This Plate must not be calibrated to someone of your... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight. |Filesp catapult fling sphere peek failuretwo01.ogg |- |sp_catapult_fling_sphere_peek_failuretwo02 |You look great, by the way. Very healthy. |Filesp catapult fling sphere peek failuretwo02.ogg |- |sp_catapult_fling_sphere_peek_failuretwo03 |Try it now. |Filesp catapult fling sphere peek failuretwo03.ogg |- |sp_catapult_intro_completion01 |Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates. |Filesp catapult intro completion01.ogg |- |sp_column_blocker_entry01 |It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack. |Filesp column blocker entry01.ogg |- |sp_hole_in_the_sky_completion01 |Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go. |Filesp hole in the sky completion01.ogg |- |sp_hole_in_the_sky_completion02 |But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that. |Filesp hole in the sky completion02.ogg |- |sp_hole_in_the_sky_entry01 |Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good. |Filesp hole in the sky entry01.ogg |- |sp_hole_in_the_sky_entry02 |That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels. |Filesp hole in the sky entry02.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_01 |Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here. |Filesp incinerator 01 01.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_03 |There it is. |Filesp incinerator 01 03.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_04 |Hold on... |Filesp incinerator 01 04.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_05 |There. |Filesp incinerator 01 05.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_08 |Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk. |Filesp incinerator 01 08.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_09 |Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. |Filesp incinerator 01 09.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_10 |I was able — well, forced really — to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever. |Filesp incinerator 01 10.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_11 |Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together. |Filesp incinerator 01 11.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_12 |Here, let me get that for you. |Filesp incinerator 01 12.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_13 |I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck. |Filesp incinerator 01 13.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_15 |We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I—oh, no, wait. I guess I HAVEN'T killed you yet. Well. Food for thought. |Filesp incinerator 01 15.ogg |- |sp_incinerator_01_18 |The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times. |Filesp incinerator 01 18.ogg |- |sp_laserfield_intro01 |Per our last conversation You're also ugly. I'm looking at your file right now, and it mentions that more than once. |Filesp laserfield intro01.ogg |- |sp_laser_over_goo_completion01 |I'll give you credit I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record You don't have to go THAT slowly. |Filesp laser over goo completion01.ogg |- |sp_laser_over_goo_entry01 |One moment. |Filesp laser over goo entry01.ogg |- |sp_laser_powered_lift_completion01 |I have the results of the last chamber You are a horrible person. That's what it says A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that. |Filesp laser powered lift completion01.ogg |- |sp_laser_powered_lift_completion02 |Well done. Here come the test results You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that. |Filesp laser powered lift completion02.ogg |- |sp_laser_powered_lift_entry01 |This next test may result in your death. If you want to know what that's like, think back to that time you killed me, and substitute yourself for me. |Filesp laser powered lift entry01.ogg |- |sp_laser_redirect_intro_completion01 |Congratulations. Not on the test. |Filesp laser redirect intro completion01.ogg |- |sp_laser_redirect_intro_completion03 |Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds. |Filesp laser redirect intro completion03.ogg |- |sp_laser_redirect_intro_entry01 to sp_laser_redirect_intro_entry03 |Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that. Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test. Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers. |Filesp laser redirect intro entry.ogg |- |sp_paint_jump_redirect_bomb_completion01 |I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was. |Filesp paint jump redirect bomb completion01.ogg |- |sp_paint_jump_redirect_bomb_entry01 |You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof. |Filesp paint jump redirect bomb entry01.ogg |- |sp_paint_jump_trampoline_completion01 |Just so you know, I have to go give a deposition. For an upcoming trial. In case that interests you. |Filesp paint jump trampoline completion01.ogg |- |sp_paint_jump_trampoline_entry01 |While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine. |Filesp paint jump trampoline entry01.ogg |- |sp_paint_jump_wall_jumps01 |Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud nois—train horn |Filesp paint jump wall jumps01.ogg |- |sp_paint_jump_wall_jumps02 |I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact. |Filesp paint jump wall jumps02.ogg |- |sp_sabotage_glados_confused04 |...What are you doing?... |Filesp sabotage glados confused04.ogg |- |sp_sabotage_glados_dropped01 |AHH! |Filesp sabotage glados dropped01.ogg |- |sp_sabotage_glados_gibberish01 |computer gibberish |Filesp sabotage glados gibberish01.ogg |- |sp_sabotage_glados_gibberish03 |computer gibberish |Filesp sabotage glados gibberish03.ogg |- |sp_sabotage_glados_gibberish04 |computer gibberish |Filesp sabotage glados gibberish04.ogg |- |sp_sabotage_glados_gibberish05 |computer gibberish |Filesp sabotage glados gibberish05.ogg |- |sp_sabotage_glados_gibberish06 |computer gibberish |Filesp sabotage glados gibberish06.ogg |- |sp_sabotage_glados_gibberish07 |computer gibberish |Filesp sabotage glados gibberish07.ogg |- |sp_shoot_through_wall_completion01 |Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now. |Filesp shoot through wall completion01.ogg |- |sp_shoot_through_wall_entry01 |You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges. |Filesp shoot through wall entry01.ogg |- |sp_sphere_2nd_encounter_completion01 |You really are doing great... Chell. |Filesp sphere 2nd encounter completion01.ogg |- |sp_sphere_2nd_encounter_entry01 |I shouldn't spoil this, but... remember how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a present for you. Well, I guess it's more of a medical procedure. Well, technically it's more of a medical experiment. You know how excruciating it is when someone removes all of your bone marrow? Well, what if after I did that, I put something back IN that added four years to your life? |Filesp sphere 2nd encounter entry01.ogg |- |sp_sphere_2nd_encounter_entrytwo01 |I went and spoke with the door mainframe. Let's just say he won't be... well, living anymore. Anyway, back to testing. |Filesp sphere 2nd encounter entrytwo01.ogg |- |sp_sphere_2nd_encounter_malfunction01 |Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while. |Filesp sphere 2nd encounter malfunction01.ogg |- |sp_sphere_2nd_encounter_malfunction02 |Miss you! |Filesp sphere 2nd encounter malfunction02.ogg |- |sp_trust_fling_entry01 |Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world. |Filesp trust fling entry01.ogg |- |sp_trust_fling_entry02 |'''I''' have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself. |Filesp trust fling entry02.ogg |- |sp_trust_fling_sphereinterrupt01 |Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything. |Filesp trust fling sphereinterrupt01.ogg |- |sp_trust_fling_sphereinterrupt03 |Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back. |Filesp trust fling sphereinterrupt03.ogg |- |sp_turret_intro_entry01 |I wouldn't have warned you about this before, back when we hated each other. But those turrets are firing real bullets. So look out. I'd hate for something tragic to happen to you before I extract all your bone marrow. |Filesp turret intro entry01.ogg |- |sp_turret_islands01 |I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something. |Filesp turret islands01.ogg |- |sp_turret_islands02 |And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar. |Filesp turret islands02.ogg |- |sp_unassisted_angle_fling_entry01 |This next test... boom! BOOM! dangerous. I'll be right back. |Filesp unassisted angle fling entry01.ogg |- |testchambermisc02 |Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone. |Filetestchambermisc02.ogg |- |testchambermisc12 |Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing. |Filetestchambermisc12.ogg |- |testchambermisc15 |Anything? Take your time. |Filetestchambermisc15.ogg |- |testchambermisc16 |Okay, fine. I'll ask you again in a few decades. |Filetestchambermisc16.ogg |- |testchambermisc19 |Well done. In fact, you did so well, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commendations section. Oh, there's lots of room here. 'Did.... well. ... Enough.' |Filetestchambermisc19.ogg |- |testchambermisc21 |To maintain a constant testing cycle, I simulate daylight at all hours and add adrenal vapor to your oxygen supply. So you may be confused about the passage of time. The point is, yesterday was your birthday. I thought you'd want to know. |Filetestchambermisc21.ogg |- |testchambermisc23 |You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present. |Filetestchambermisc23.ogg |- |testchambermisc24 |hums 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow' |Filetestchambermisc24.ogg |- |testchambermisc27 |Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need. |Filetestchambermisc27.ogg |- |testchambermisc30 |I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world. |Filetestchambermisc30.ogg |- |testchambermisc31 |I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time. |Filetestchambermisc31.ogg |- |testchambermisc33 |I'll bet you think I forgot about your surprise. I didn't. In fact, we're headed to your surprise right now. After all these years. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it. |Filetestchambermisc33.ogg |- |testchambermisc34 |Initiating surprise in three... two... one. |Filetestchambermisc34.ogg |- |testchambermisc35 |I made it all up. |Filetestchambermisc35.ogg |- |testchambermisc39 |It says this next test was designed by one of Aperture's Nobel prize winners. It doesn't say what the prize was for. Well, I know it wasn't for Being Immune To Neurotoxin. |Filetestchambermisc39.ogg |- |testchambermisc41 |Surprise. |Filetestchambermisc41.ogg |- |turret_intro01 |This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They're the pale spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait. That's you in five seconds. Good luck. |Fileturret intro01.ogg |- |wakeup_outro01 |I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test. |Filewakeup outro01.ogg |- |wakeup_outro02 |I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first. |Filewakeup outro02.ogg |- |} {{Quotes}} CategoryQuotes by character