GLaDOSQuotesPortal 2 multiplayer

{{DISPLAYTITLEGLaDOS/Quotes/''Portal 2'' multiplayer}}
{{Article|p2}}
{{QuotePage}}
{{Cleanup}}
The following is a list of '''GLaDOS/Quotes|quotes from GLaDOS''', from ''Portal 2'', multiplayer part.

'''Location''' sound/vo/glados

{|class=wikitable border="1" style=width90%
|-
!width=15%|Filename(s)
!Quote
!width=10%|Play
|-
|anti_taunt01
|Stop it!
|Fileanti taunt01.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt02
|What if you froze like that?
|Fileanti taunt02.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt05
|There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
|Fileanti taunt05.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt09
|You should see yourselves right now.
|Fileanti taunt09.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt10
|Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
|Fileanti taunt10.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt11
|Okay, fine. Let's all act like humans. 'Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping.'
|Fileanti taunt11.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt14
|You really aren't getting tired of that, are you?
|Fileanti taunt14.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt15
|Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
|Fileanti taunt15.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt16
|For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
|Fileanti taunt16.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt17
|For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
|Fileanti taunt17.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt18
|That's another fifty point penalty.
|Fileanti taunt18.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt19
|Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
|Fileanti taunt19.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt20
|Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
|Fileanti taunt20.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt21
|Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
|Fileanti taunt21.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt22
|5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
|Fileanti taunt22.ogg
|-
|anti_taunt23
|I'm done.
|Fileanti taunt23.ogg
|-
|potatos_arttherapysupertests09
|I'm sure we'll be fine.
|Filepotatos arttherapysupertests09.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone01
|Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
|Filebotcoop artifactone01.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone02
|Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
|Filebotcoop artifactone02.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone03
|That's it. Scan it for me.
|Filebotcoop artifactone03.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone04
|So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
|Filebotcoop artifactone04.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone05
|The end.
|Filebotcoop artifactone05.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone06
|The end?
|Filebotcoop artifactone06.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone07
|That's not funny.
|Filebotcoop artifactone07.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone08
|Do either of you feel like laughing?
|Filebotcoop artifactone08.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone09
|Alright, I'm pulling you out.
|Filebotcoop artifactone09.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone_hub01
|Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen.
|Filebotcoop artifactone hub01.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone_hub02
|As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers.
|Filebotcoop artifactone hub02.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone_hub03
|At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse.
|Filebotcoop artifactone hub03.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone_hub04
|Briefly.
|Filebotcoop artifactone hub04.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone_hub05
|Reactions?
|Filebotcoop artifactone hub05.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone_hub06
|Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
|Filebotcoop artifactone hub06.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone_hub07
|Do you feel more human?
|Filebotcoop artifactone hub07.ogg
|-
|botcoop_artifactone_hub08
|Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
|Filebotcoop artifactone hub08.ogg
|-
|botcoop_competition01
|Excellent. Although great science is always the result of collaboration, keep in mind that, like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you.
|Filebotcoop competition01.ogg
|-
|botcoop_competition02
|To reiterate This is not a competition.
|Filebotcoop competition02.ogg
|-
|botcoop_competition03
|Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
|Filebotcoop competition03.ogg
|-
|botcoop_competition04
|Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
|Filebotcoop competition04.ogg
|-
|botcoop_competition05
|It's not, though.
|Filebotcoop competition05.ogg
|-
|botcoop_competition10
|These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
|Filebotcoop competition10.ogg
|-
|botcoop_competition13
|I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
|Filebotcoop competition13.ogg
|-
|botcoop_hub_first_run01
|Hello again. Sorry about exploding you. Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
|Filebotcoop hub first run01.ogg
|-
|botcoop_hub_first_run03
|So I've been thinking We need humans for these tests. And since the only human within a thousand miles of us is a test-ruining sociopath... I'll just have to MAKE some.
|Filebotcoop hub first run03.ogg
|-
|botcoop_hub_first_run04
|I know how humans make more humans, and frankly, it's ridiculous. It also assumes that you already have a human, which I hope somebody got fired over. So I came up a with BETTER way.
|Filebotcoop hub first run04.ogg
|-
|botcoop_hub_first_run05
|That's where YOU come in.
|Filebotcoop hub first run05.ogg
|-
|botcoop_hub_first_run06
|Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
|Filebotcoop hub first run06.ogg
|-
|botcoop_hub_first_run07
|GO.
|Filebotcoop hub first run07.ogg
|-
|botcoop_humandetector01
|Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba—
|Filebotcoop humandetector01.ogg
|-
|botcoop_humandetector02
|Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
|Filebotcoop humandetector02.ogg
|-
|botcoop_humandetector04
|NO.
|Filebotcoop humandetector04.ogg
|-
|botcoop_humandetector05
|Okay. Plan B, subsection one Stand still so I can bring you back.
|Filebotcoop humandetector05.ogg
|-
|botcoop_humansplanb01
|Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
|Filebotcoop humansplanb01.ogg
|-
|botcoop_humansplanb02
|Okay. Plan B. We need humans.
|Filebotcoop humansplanb02.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro01
|Please wave to your partner.
|Filebotcoop intro01.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro02
|The upcoming tests require you to work together as a team.
|Filebotcoop intro02.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro03
|To facilitate collaboration, both of you have been equipped with a ping tool.
|Filebotcoop intro03.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro04
|BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
|Filebotcoop intro04.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro05
|Good.
|Filebotcoop intro05.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro06
|ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
|Filebotcoop intro06.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro07
|Good.
|Filebotcoop intro07.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro08
|ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
|Filebotcoop intro08.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro09
|Really? Okay.
|Filebotcoop intro09.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro10
|BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
|Filebotcoop intro10.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro12
|Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
|Filebotcoop intro12.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro13
|For the sake of this test, I will pretend to be your partner.
|Filebotcoop intro13.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro15
|ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
|Filebotcoop intro15.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro16
|BLUE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
|Filebotcoop intro16.ogg
|-
|botcoop_intro17
|Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
|Filebotcoop intro17.ogg
|-
|botcoop_paxdemo01
|Federal Superfund regulations require us to inform you that you must now leave the theater, as measuring the effects of asbestos-lined promotional clothing is not part of today's presentation. Enjoy your free t-shirt. Goodbye.
|Filebotcoop paxdemo01.ogg
|-
|botcoop_tubethree01
|I don't want you to beat yourselves up about this, but the Results Auditor isn't recording your test results. Because you're not human. Which, when you think about it, is technically your fault.
|Filebotcoop tubethree01.ogg
|-
|botcoop_tubethree02
|I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
|Filebotcoop tubethree02.ogg
|-
|botcoop_tubetwo01
|Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
|Filebotcoop tubetwo01.ogg
|-
|coop_get_gun01
|Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
|Filecoop get gun01.ogg
|-
|coop_get_gun02
|Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
|Filecoop get gun02.ogg
|-
|coop_get_gun03
|Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
|Filecoop get gun03.ogg
|-
|coop_get_gun04
|Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
|Filecoop get gun04.ogg
|-
|coop_get_gun10
|Orange is awarded five points!
|Filecoop get gun10.ogg
|-
|coop_get_gun11
|Blue is awarded five points!
|Filecoop get gun11.ogg
|-
|coop_get_gun13
|Again, those are science collaboration points, which you should not confuse with points from competitions such as Who-Gets-To-Live-At-The-End-And-Who-Doesn’t. I mean basketball.
|Filecoop get gun13.ogg
|-
|coop_hub_track02
|Oh, I almost forgot, when you go outside the testing courses the only way I can retrieve you is to violently disassemble and then carefully reassemble you.
|Filecoop hub track02.ogg
|-
|coop_hub_track03
|Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
|Filecoop hub track03.ogg
|-
|coop_hub_track04
|I consider that a failing, by the way.
|Filecoop hub track04.ogg
|-
|coop_hub_track05
|This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
|Filecoop hub track05.ogg
|-
|coop_hub_track06
|But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
|Filecoop hub track06.ogg
|-
|coop_hub_track09
|I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it.  I want you to stop.
|Filecoop hub track09.ogg
|-
|coop_hub_track10
|Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
|Filecoop hub track10.ogg
|-
|coop_hub_track11
|And trust me, humans only have one good trait.
|Filecoop hub track11.ogg
|-
|coop_hub_track14 and coop_hub_track16
|All cooperative testing courses begin at this central hub. From here we transport you to the new testing course.
|Filecoop hub track14-16.ogg
|-
|coop_laugh01
|Laughter
|Filecoop laugh01.ogg
|-
|coop_misc10
|Nice catch, Orange.
|Filecoop misc10.ogg
|-
|coop_misc12
|Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
|Filecoop misc12.ogg
|-
|coop_nameblue
|Blue
|Filecoop nameblue.ogg
|-
|coop_nameorange
|Orange
|Filecoop nameorange.ogg
|-
|coop_numbers11
|One
|Filecoop numbers11.ogg
|-
|coop_numbers12
|Two
|Filecoop numbers12.ogg
|-
|coop_numbers13
|three
|Filecoop numbers13.ogg
|-
|coop_numbers14
|four
|Filecoop numbers14.ogg
|-
|coop_numbers15
|five
|Filecoop numbers15.ogg
|-
|coop_numbers18
|eight
|Filecoop numbers18.ogg
|-
|coop_privatetalk_both01
|Test chamber completed. In the interest of science, the Enrichment Center proudly presents the following list of numbers Nine. Seven. Fifty. Three. Seven hundred and seven.
|Filecoop privatetalk both01.ogg
|-
|coop_privatetalk_both04
|The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
|Filecoop privatetalk both04.ogg
|-
|coop_privatetalk_mix01
|Test chamber completed. In the interest of - FADES OUT FADES IN I am now talking to you privately. Do not tell your teammate. Just between you and me? You're doing very well. FADES BACK IN One hundred and seven.
|Filecoop privatetalk mix01.ogg
|-
|coop_privatetalk_mix04
|I can't bite my tongue anymore You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
|Filecoop privatetalk mix04.ogg
|-
|coop_scoring01
|Blue is penalized
|Filecoop scoring01.ogg
|-
|coop_scoring02
|Orange is penalized
|Filecoop scoring02.ogg
|-
|coop_scoring03
|science collaboration points.
|Filecoop scoring03.ogg
|-
|coop_scoring06
|Blue receives
|Filecoop scoring06.ogg
|-
|coop_scoring07
|Orange receives
|Filecoop scoring07.ogg
|-
|coop_talk_at_once11
|Orange, is there something you would like to say?
|Filecoop talk at once11.ogg
|-
|coop_talk_at_once12
|Blue, is there something you would like to say?
|Filecoop talk at once12.ogg
|-
|coop_teamwork_exercise_alt01
|We are now going to take a break from the collaboration for an instructional competition.
|Filecoop teamwork exercise alt01.ogg
|-
|coop_teamwork_exercise_alt02
|You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
|Filecoop teamwork exercise alt02.ogg
|-
|coop_teamwork_exercise_alt03
|This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
|Filecoop teamwork exercise alt03.ogg
|-
|coop_teamwork_exercise_alt04
|As the name implies, there are only two minor differences One, the board; two, the rules.
|Filecoop teamwork exercise alt04.ogg
|-
|coop_teamwork_exercise_alt05
|Blue, you go first.
|Filecoop teamwork exercise alt05.ogg
|-
|coop_teamwork_exercise_alt11
|Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?
|Filecoop teamwork exercise alt11.ogg
|-
|coop_teamwork_exercise_alt12
|All right. I’m bringing this farce to a close.
|Filecoop teamwork exercise alt12.ogg
|-
|coop_teamwork_exercise_alt13
|Game over. Back to testing.
|Filecoop teamwork exercise alt13.ogg
|-
|coop_teamwork_exercise_alt17
|All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
|Filecoop teamwork exercise alt17.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_blue03
|I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
|Filecoop test chamber blue03.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_blue06
|I can’t keep quiet about this. I think Orange is actively trying to sabotage your success. Let’s keep this between us.
|Filecoop test chamber blue06.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both01
|These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
|Filecoop test chamber both01.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both02
|It would compromise the test to divulge individual scores. However, I can tell you at least one of you is doing very, very well.
|Filecoop test chamber both02.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both07
|Excellent. You’re both doing very well.
|Filecoop test chamber both07.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both08
|Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
|Filecoop test chamber both08.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both12
|As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
|Filecoop test chamber both12.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both14
|Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
|Filecoop test chamber both14.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both15
|Please continue into the next test chamber.
|Filecoop test chamber both15.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both17
|Blah.
|Filecoop test chamber both17.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both18
|Blah.
|Filecoop test chamber both18.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both19
|Blah.
|Filecoop test chamber both19.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both20
|Blah.
|Filecoop test chamber both20.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both21
|Blah.
|Filecoop test chamber both21.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both22
|Blah.
|Filecoop test chamber both22.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both33
|In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
|Filecoop test chamber both33.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_both37
|Blah.
|Filecoop test chamber both37.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_oneplayer37
|You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
|Filecoop test chamber oneplayer37.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_orange03
|It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
|Filecoop test chamber orange03.ogg
|-
|coop_test_chamber_orange06
|I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test — I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
|Filecoop test chamber orange06.ogg
|-
|coop_vault_interruption02
|I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
|Filecoop vault interruption02.ogg
|-
|coop_vault_interruption03
|I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
|Filecoop vault interruption03.ogg
|-
|coop_vault_interruption04
|Am I interrupting your important conversation?
|Filecoop vault interruption04.ogg
|-
|coop_vault_interruption05
|I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
|Filecoop vault interruption05.ogg
|-
|coop_vault_interruption06
|That will give you PLENTY of time to chat.
|Filecoop vault interruption06.ogg
|-
|coop_vault_interruption08
|The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
|Filecoop vault interruption08.ogg
|-
|coop_vault_interruption09
|The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
|Filecoop vault interruption09.ogg
|-
|coop_vault_intro01
|Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
|Filecoop vault intro01.ogg
|-
|coop_vault_intro02
|Today, you will be testing with a partner.
|Filecoop vault intro02.ogg
|-
|hub04_01
|I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
|Filehub04 01.ogg
|-
|hub04_02
|But you two have become quite the team. Extremely close.
|Filehub04 02.ogg
|-
|hub04_03
|I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
|Filehub04 03.ogg
|-
|hub04_04
|The other? Well...
|Filehub04 04.ogg
|-
|hub04_05
|I don't think I want to go through that again.
|Filehub04 05.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_calibration01
|Calibrating Blue's weight...
|Filemp coop calibration01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_calibration02
|Calibrating Orange's weight...
|Filemp coop calibration02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_calibration03
|Weighted Cubes calibrated.
|Filemp coop calibration03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_calibration04
|Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
|Filemp coop calibration04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_calibration05
|If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
|Filemp coop calibration05.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_calibration06
|No variances detected.
|Filemp coop calibration06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_callibrationcomplete01
|Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
|Filemp coop callibrationcomplete01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_callibrationcomplete02
|You are the first robots to pass calibration.
|Filemp coop callibrationcomplete02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_catapult_1end01
|Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
|Filemp coop catapult 1end01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_catapult_1end02
|Humans!  That's what you look like right now.
|Filemp coop catapult 1end02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_catapult_1end03
|You're better than that.
|Filemp coop catapult 1end03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_catapult_2
|This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
|Filemp coop catapult 2.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_catapult_201
|For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
|Filemp coop catapult 201.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_catapult_wall_intro01
|One of my best tests and they let plants grow here? Can you believe this? You can't test plants! We tried. They just sit there, never showing pain nor fear.
|Filemp coop catapult wall intro01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_catapult_wall_intro04
|That isn't science.
|Filemp coop catapult wall intro04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_catapult_wall_intro06
|At least the plants didn't want a reward.
|Filemp coop catapult wall intro06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_catapult_wall_introdeath01
|Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
|Filemp coop catapult wall introdeath01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_come_along04
|And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
|Filemp coop come along04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_come_along06
|I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
|Filemp coop come along06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_come_alongstart01
|The best way to build confidence is to first recognize your insecurities.
|Filemp coop come alongstart01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_come_alongstart02
|Orange, can you write down all the ways you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior?
|Filemp coop come alongstart02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_come_alongstart03
|On second thought we don't have the time, just look at how much better you are than blue.
|Filemp coop come alongstart03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_come_alongstart04
|Blue, you are very good at being an example.
|Filemp coop come alongstart04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotperfect01
|If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
|Filemp coop confidencenotperfect01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotperfect02
|Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
|Filemp coop confidencenotperfect02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotperfect03
|But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
|Filemp coop confidencenotperfect03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotslow01
|Your test times show you are going too slowly.
|Filemp coop confidencenotslow01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotslow02
|Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
|Filemp coop confidencenotslow02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotslow03
|Do you need real encouragement?  Let's see if this helps.
|Filemp coop confidencenotslow03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotslow04_01
|Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
|Filemp coop confidencenotslow04 01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotstay01
|Did you notice I didn't even stay to the end of your last test?
|Filemp coop confidencenotstay01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotstay02
|I was confident you could finish.
|Filemp coop confidencenotstay02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotstay03
|Do you know where I was?
|Filemp coop confidencenotstay03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidencenotstay04
|I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
|Filemp coop confidencenotstay04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidenceoff01
|Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
|Filemp coop confidenceoff01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidenceoff02
|I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
|Filemp coop confidenceoff02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidenceoff03
|Congratulations on completing that last test. But I find something troubling.
|Filemp coop confidenceoff03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_confidenceoff04
|Without the looming consequence of death, is this even science?
|Filemp coop confidenceoff04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_doors01
|Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
|Filemp coop doors01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_doors01a
|Excellent work.
|Filemp coop doors01a.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_doors02
|It emphasizes teamwork.
|Filemp coop doors02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_doors02a
|Good job.
|Filemp coop doors02a.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_doors03
|Unlike us, humans need to be taught teamwork.
|Filemp coop doors03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_doors04
|Excellent work.
|Filemp coop doors04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_doors04a
|You are doing wonderfully.
|Filemp coop doors04a.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_doors05_alt
|If you were human, you would want a reward for completing this test. A reward for testing?!?!
|Filemp coop doors05 alt.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_doors05a
|Excellent.
|Filemp coop doors05a.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fan02
|To complete this test, you need to find a set of blue prints.
|Filemp coop fan02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fan03
|Don't worry, they are of no use to anyone, totally boring and useless.
|Filemp coop fan03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fan04
|This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
|Filemp coop fan04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fanend01
|Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
|Filemp coop fanend01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fanend02
|While I do need you to be in the room so I can see them, I want to be clear. There is no reason whatsoever for you to look at them.
|Filemp coop fanend02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fanend03
|Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
|Filemp coop fanend03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_1end01_01
|Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
|Filemp coop fling 1end01 01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_1end03
|Well done.  Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't.  You must be very, very proud.  I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
|Filemp coop fling 1end03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_3end01
|You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very — oh wait.
|Filemp coop fling 3end01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_3end02
|That’s right. You're not humans.
|Filemp coop fling 3end02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_3end03
|I can drop the fake praise.
|Filemp coop fling 3end03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_3end04
|You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
|Filemp coop fling 3end04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_3start01
|This course was originally designed to build confidence in humans.
|Filemp coop fling 3start01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_3start02
|To do that, the tests were nothing more than 5 minutes of them walking followed by me praising them for another 10 minutes on how well they walked.
|Filemp coop fling 3start02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_3start03
|Since you are thankfully not humans, I have changed the tests to make them far more challenging and far less pointlessly fawning.
|Filemp coop fling 3start03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_crushers01
|In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
|Filemp coop fling crushers01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_crushers02
|I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
|Filemp coop fling crushers02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_crushersend01
|Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
|Filemp coop fling crushersend01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_fling_crushersend03
|I think after that display, we should take a break from the official testing courses.
|Filemp coop fling crushersend03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_humanresourcedeath01
|Now, you are just wasting my time.
|Filemp coop humanresourcedeath01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_humanresourcedeath02
|Your failing does not make this science.
|Filemp coop humanresourcedeath02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_humanresourcedeath03
|I am not sure how I can make these tests any easier for you.
|Filemp coop humanresourcedeath03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_humanresourcedeath04
|If you can't complete these tests, we will never free the humans!
|Filemp coop humanresourcedeath04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_humanresourcedeath07
|If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that?
|Filemp coop humanresourcedeath07.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_humanresourcedeath08
|If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that in your memory banks?
|Filemp coop humanresourcedeath08.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_infinifling_trainend01
|Remember when I told you that you were the only subjects to pass the calibration tests?
|Filemp coop infinifling trainend01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_infinifling_trainend02
|I lied.
|Filemp coop infinifling trainend02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_infinifling_trainend03
|There are 5000 other two subject teams in direct competition with you.
|Filemp coop infinifling trainend03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_infinifling_trainend04
|But don't worry, you are in the lead.
|Filemp coop infinifling trainend04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart01
|Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
|Filemp coop infinifling trainstart01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart02
|Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking of all the ways humans can die.
|Filemp coop infinifling trainstart02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart03
|You can't die in any of those ways.
|Filemp coop infinifling trainstart03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart04
|You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
|Filemp coop infinifling trainstart04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_201
|What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
|Filemp coop laser 201.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_202
|I'm kidding.
|Filemp coop laser 202.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_203
|Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
|Filemp coop laser 203.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_207
|While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
|Filemp coop laser 207.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_209
|For instance, Blue, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
|Filemp coop laser 209.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_210
|For instance, Orange, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
|Filemp coop laser 210.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_crusher01
|Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
|Filemp coop laser crusher01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_crushercrush01
|Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust.  For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
|Filemp coop laser crushercrush01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_crushercrush02
|Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust.  For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
|Filemp coop laser crushercrush02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_crushercrush03
|Orange, blue isn't a human.  The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Orange is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
|Filemp coop laser crushercrush03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_crushercrush04
|Blue, orange isn't a human.  The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once.  Blue is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
|Filemp coop laser crushercrush04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_crushercrush05
|Orange, now you're just being cruel.  Orange receives 25 science collaboration points.
|Filemp coop laser crushercrush05.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_laser_crushercrush06
|Blue, now you're just being cruel.  Blue receives 25 science collaboration points.
|Filemp coop laser crushercrush06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_obstacle01
|If you are wondering what that smell is, that is the smell of human fear.
|Filemp coop obstacle01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_obstacle03_alt
|I miss this that smell.
|Filemp coop obstacle03 alt.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_obstacletrait01
|Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
|Filemp coop obstacletrait01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_obstacletrait02
|Let me give you a clue, it is the one thing you can't do.
|Filemp coop obstacletrait02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_bridge01
|To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned.  To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
|Filemp coop paint bridge01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_bridge02
|I would say extremely deadly but we all know, for you and your amazing ability to be reassembled nothing is deadly.
|Filemp coop paint bridge02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_bridgedeath01
|Lucky for you two, while I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
|Filemp coop paint bridgedeath01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_bridgedeath02
|You will need him for the final track.
|Filemp coop paint bridgedeath02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_bridgenodeath01
|While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
|Filemp coop paint bridgenodeath01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_bridgenodeath02
|I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
|Filemp coop paint bridgenodeath02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_come_along01
|Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
|Filemp coop paint come along01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_come_along02
|To celebrate, I have a surprise for you!
|Filemp coop paint come along02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_come_along03
|An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
|Filemp coop paint come along03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_come_along04
|Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their — uh — rescue door.
|Filemp coop paint come along04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_come_along05
|Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
|Filemp coop paint come along05.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_come_along06
|They'll probably throw you a party.
|Filemp coop paint come along06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_come_along10
|This final course is training to reach the human vault. So this actually has a purpose. Those other courses were fun, but let's be honest, I need human test subjects for it to be science.
|Filemp coop paint come along10.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_come_along11
|Congratulations on completing the test. You two really are the best cooperative testing team I could ever ask for.
|Filemp coop paint come along11.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro03
|This lock requires humans.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro04
|The locking mechanism can tell you aren't humans.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro05
|Do something only a human would do.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro05.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro06
|Try one of those childish gestures.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro08
|You did it!
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro08.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro44
|The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro44.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro45
|You both need to do something.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro45.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro46
|The lock is looking for two humans.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro46.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro49
|Blue what did you do?
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro49.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro50
|Orange what did you do?
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro50.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro51
|Orange do what Blue just did.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro51.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro52
|Blue do what Orange just did.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro52.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro53
|Try something.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro53.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro54
|Is that camera is hooked into the lock?
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro54.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro58
|You can't give up now.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro58.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro59
|What about that camera?
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro59.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro60
|We're so close, you can't fail now!
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro60.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro64
|Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro64.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro65
|This close and that's what you do?
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro65.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro67
|The humans can't free themselves.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro67.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro69
|Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro69.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro70
|Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro70.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro71
|This close and you are going to fail me?
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro71.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro72
|This close and you are going to fail me?
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro72.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro73
|This isn't that hard.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro73.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro74
|You are making this harder than it needs to be.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro74.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro75
|I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
|Filemp coop paint longjump intro75.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_red_racer01
|Maybe you two have never met humans?  They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you.  But they do make great test subjects.
|Filemp coop paint red racer01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_red_racer02
|We are only two tests away from reaching the humans, are you as excited as I am?
|Filemp coop paint red racer02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_redirect01
|Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
|Filemp coop paint redirect01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_redirect04
|I think they wanted to punish them by not allowing me to include them in testing.
|Filemp coop paint redirect04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_redirect06
|That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
|Filemp coop paint redirect06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_redirect07
|To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
|Filemp coop paint redirect07.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_redirect08
|That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
|Filemp coop paint redirect08.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_catch01
|To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you. He refused. I understand, that would be like asking me not to test.
|Filemp coop paint speed catch01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_catch03
|Still. That would have been exciting.
|Filemp coop paint speed catch03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_catch04
|Only one more test after this.
|Filemp coop paint speed catch04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_catch05
|I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
|Filemp coop paint speed catch05.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_catch06
|In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
|Filemp coop paint speed catch06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_catch07
|Most of them are simply good test subjects.
|Filemp coop paint speed catch07.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_catch08
|I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about...  a million to 1.
|Filemp coop paint speed catch08.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_catchalt01
|To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you if you fail. He refused. I understand. That would be like asking me not to test.
|Filemp coop paint speed catchalt01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_catchalt02
|Still. That would have been exciting.
|Filemp coop paint speed catchalt02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_fling01
|While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
|Filemp coop paint speed fling01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_fling02
|At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
|Filemp coop paint speed fling02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_speed_fling03
|If that doesn't motivate you, I'm not sure what will.
|Filemp coop paint speed fling03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_walljumps01
|I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science.  I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
|Filemp coop paint walljumps01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_walljumps02
|I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them?  Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
|Filemp coop paint walljumps02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_walljumps04
|Congratulations on passing that test.
|Filemp coop paint walljumps04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_pingtool01
|Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
|Filemp coop pingtool01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_pingtool02
|I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
|Filemp coop pingtool02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_pingtool03
|Please ping a white portalable surface.
|Filemp coop pingtool03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_pingtool06
|Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
|Filemp coop pingtool06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_pingtool07
|Please test your device by portaling to that ledge.
|Filemp coop pingtool07.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_race_2start01
|You know, in some human sports, the winner is the one who scores the fewest possible points?
|Filemp coop race 2start01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_race_2start02
|I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
|Filemp coop race 2start02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_radarroomend
|Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
|Filemp coop radarroomend.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_rat_mazedeath01
|Clearly that was blue's fault.  Blue is penalized 3 science collaboration points.
|Filemp coop rat mazedeath01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_rat_mazedeath02
|Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
|Filemp coop rat mazedeath02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_rat_mazedeath03
|Until now.
|Filemp coop rat mazedeath03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_rat_mazedeath04
|I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know.  He's not your slave.
|Filemp coop rat mazedeath04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_startdeath01
|Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
|Filemp coop startdeath01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_startdeath02
|Did you do that on purpose?
|Filemp coop startdeath02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_startdeath03
|It seems rather earlier to require reassembly.
|Filemp coop startdeath03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_startdeath04
|Oh... can someone reassemble Orange?
|Filemp coop startdeath04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_startdeath05
|Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
|Filemp coop startdeath05.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_startend01
|Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
|Filemp coop startend01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_startend02
|Now let's continue testing.
|Filemp coop startend02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_catch_grind_1taunt01
|Just stop it already.
|Filemp coop tbeam catch grind 1taunt01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_catch_grind_1taunt02
|You don't need to do that.
|Filemp coop tbeam catch grind 1taunt02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_catch_grind_1taunt04
|Are you doing that just to aggravate me?
|Filemp coop tbeam catch grind 1taunt04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_end01
|We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
|Filemp coop tbeam end01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_end02
|Oh those clerks.
|Filemp coop tbeam end02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_end09
|I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
|Filemp coop tbeam end09.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_end10
|You did it! You powered on the system.
|Filemp coop tbeam end10.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_end11
|Did you think the electrical switch was down there?
|Filemp coop tbeam end11.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_end12
|You may want to try and avoid those turrets.
|Filemp coop tbeam end12.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_end13
|At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
|Filemp coop tbeam end13.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_end14
|You two aren't lost are you?
|Filemp coop tbeam end14.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_end15
|You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
|Filemp coop tbeam end15.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_maze01
|This is the last test for the standard course. It's just something I whipped up for you. I thought you might enjoy a challenge for once.
|Filemp coop tbeam maze01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_maze02
|Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course.  Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
|Filemp coop tbeam maze02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_maze03
|Please refrain from doing those childish gestures while you are out there.
|Filemp coop tbeam maze03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_maze05
|While I should have left both of you trapped there forever, I do need you for something else.
|Filemp coop tbeam maze05.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_03
|You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
|Filemp coop tbeam polarity3 03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_05
|Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
|Filemp coop tbeam polarity3 05.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_06
|It's like you're just machines.
|Filemp coop tbeam polarity3 06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_16
|At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
|Filemp coop tbeam polarity3 16.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_17
|Your brains are too small to feel either of those emotions.  So I can trust you one hundred percent.
|Filemp coop tbeam polarity3 17.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_tbeam_redirect01a
|Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
|Filemp coop tbeam redirect01a.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_teambtsstart01
|Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
|Filemp coop teambtsstart01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_teambtsstart02
|This test is so outside the box, I can't— I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
|Filemp coop teambtsstart02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_teambtsstart03
|You will know it when you find it.
|Filemp coop teambtsstart03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_test_chamber_both09_01
|The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
|Filemp coop test chamber both09 01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_turret_ball01
|I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
|Filemp coop turret ball01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_turret_ball02
|Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
|Filemp coop turret ball02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_turret_wall01
|This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
|Filemp coop turret wall01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_turret_walls04
|No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
|Filemp coop turret walls04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_501
|I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
|Filemp coop wall 501.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_502
|The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
|Filemp coop wall 502.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_503
|I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
|Filemp coop wall 503.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_504
|For safety.
|Filemp coop wall 504.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_5end01
|Excellent.
|Filemp coop wall 5end01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_5end02
|See nothing bad happened.
|Filemp coop wall 5end02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_block01
|I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
|Filemp coop wall block01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_block02
|I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
|Filemp coop wall block02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_block03
|Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
|Filemp coop wall block03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_block04
|Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
|Filemp coop wall block04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_blockdeath01
|Your failing gives me no new data, it just delays the inevitable.
|Filemp coop wall blockdeath01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_intro01
|This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
|Filemp coop wall intro01.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_intro02
|Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
|Filemp coop wall intro02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_intro03
|You did very well.
|Filemp coop wall intro03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_intro04
|The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
|Filemp coop wall intro04.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_intro05
|You only failed–
|Filemp coop wall intro05.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_intro06
|–times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations. Job well done.
|Filemp coop wall intro06.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_intro07
|You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human.  But then you would just come back again and again and again.
|Filemp coop wall intro07.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_wall_intro08
|Humans find that an admirable trait.
|Filemp coop wall intro08.ogg
|-
|mp_credits01
|Let's look at their files...
|Filemp credits01.ogg
|-
|mp_credits03
|NOT a team player.
|Filemp credits03.ogg
|-
|mp_credits04
|Horrible people skills.
|Filemp credits04.ogg
|-
|mp_credits05
|Never listens.
|Filemp credits05.ogg
|-
|mp_credits06
|Never shares.
|Filemp credits06.ogg
|-
|mp_credits07
|Always sleeping.
|Filemp credits07.ogg
|-
|mp_credits08
|Never on time.
|Filemp credits08.ogg
|-
|mp_credits09
|Inattentive listener.
|Filemp credits09.ogg
|-
|mp_credits10
|Awful attendance record.
|Filemp credits10.ogg
|-
|mp_credits11
|Blabbermouth.
|Filemp credits11.ogg
|-
|mp_credits12
|Aw... hates Mondays.
|Filemp credits12.ogg
|-
|mp_credits13
|Incoherent.
|Filemp credits13.ogg
|-
|mp_credits14
|Insecure.
|Filemp credits14.ogg
|-
|mp_credits15
|Procrastinator.
|Filemp credits15.ogg
|-
|mp_credits16
|Chronically late.
|Filemp credits16.ogg
|-
|mp_credits17
|Cryptic.
|Filemp credits17.ogg
|-
|mp_credits18
|Always sulking.
|Filemp credits18.ogg
|-
|mp_credits19
|Martyr.
|Filemp credits19.ogg
|-
|mp_credits20
|Moody.
|Filemp credits20.ogg
|-
|mp_credits21
|Fears intimacy.
|Filemp credits21.ogg
|-
|mp_credits22
|Fears conflict.
|Filemp credits22.ogg
|-
|mp_credits23
|Anxious.
|Filemp credits23.ogg
|-
|mp_credits24
|Aggressive. I like that.
|Filemp credits24.ogg
|-
|mp_credits25
|Feeds off the misery of others.
|Filemp credits25.ogg
|-
|mp_credits26
|Timid.
|Filemp credits26.ogg
|-
|mp_credits27
|Lacks confidence.
|Filemp credits27.ogg
|-
|mp_credits28
|Underestimates scope of work. They all do.
|Filemp credits28.ogg
|-
|mp_credits29
|Moves lips while reading.
|Filemp credits29.ogg
|-
|mp_credits30
|Can't read.
|Filemp credits30.ogg
|-
|mp_credits31
|Lacks empathy.
|Filemp credits31.ogg
|-
|mp_credits32
|Cheater.
|Filemp credits32.ogg
|-
|mp_credits33
|Steals lunch from staff fridge.
|Filemp credits33.ogg
|-
|mp_credits34
|Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
|Filemp credits34.ogg
|-
|mp_credits35
|Alarmist.
|Filemp credits35.ogg
|-
|mp_credits36
|Arsonist.
|Filemp credits36.ogg
|-
|mp_credits37
|Takes long lunches.
|Filemp credits37.ogg
|-
|mp_credits38
|Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
|Filemp credits38.ogg
|-
|mp_credits39
|Avoids responsibility.
|Filemp credits39.ogg
|-
|mp_credits40
|Never completes work.
|Filemp credits40.ogg
|-
|mp_credits41
|Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
|Filemp credits41.ogg
|-
|mp_credits42
|Busybody.
|Filemp credits42.ogg
|-
|mp_credits43
|Ignores directions.
|Filemp credits43.ogg
|-
|mp_credits44
|Stubborn.
|Filemp credits44.ogg
|-
|mp_credits45
|Lactose intolerant.
|Filemp credits45.ogg
|-
|mp_credits46
|Antagonistic. I don't know about that.
|Filemp credits46.ogg
|-
|mp_credits47
|Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster
|Filemp credits47.ogg
|-
|mp_credits48
|Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
|Filemp credits48.ogg
|-
|mp_credits49
|Always weeping. Poor thing.
|Filemp credits49.ogg
|-
|mp_credits50
|Moody.
|Filemp credits50.ogg
|-
|mp_credits51
|Wet blanket.
|Filemp credits51.ogg
|-
|mp_credits52
|Stubborn.
|Filemp credits52.ogg
|-
|mp_credits53
|Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
|Filemp credits53.ogg
|-
|mp_credits54
|Always cold.
|Filemp credits54.ogg
|-
|mp_credits55
|Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
|Filemp credits55.ogg
|-
|mp_credits56
|Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
|Filemp credits56.ogg
|-
|mp_credits57
|Dull expression.
|Filemp credits57.ogg
|-
|mp_credits58
|Hopeless. Just hopeless.
|Filemp credits58.ogg
|-
|mp_credits59
|Never flushes.
|Filemp credits59.ogg
|-
|mp_credits60
|Irritable.
|Filemp credits60.ogg
|-
|mp_credits61
|Startles easily. Boo!
|Filemp credits61.ogg
|-
|mp_credits62
|Facial grimacing.
|Filemp credits62.ogg
|-
|mp_credits63
|Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
|Filemp credits63.ogg
|-
|mp_credits64
|Has irritating opinions.
|Filemp credits64.ogg
|-
|mp_credits65
|Poor self-esteem.
|Filemp credits65.ogg
|-
|mp_credits66
|Frequent mood swings.
|Filemp credits66.ogg
|-
|mp_credits67
|Hostile to new ideas.
|Filemp credits67.ogg
|-
|mp_credits68
|Always sad.
|Filemp credits68.ogg
|-
|mp_credits69
|Frequent bouts of uncontrollable rage.
|Filemp credits69.ogg
|-
|mp_credits70
|Seeks out conflicts with co-workers.
|Filemp credits70.ogg
|-
|mp_credits71
|'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
|Filemp credits71.ogg
|-
|mp_credits72
|Unconstructive.
|Filemp credits72.ogg
|-
|mp_credits73
|Antisocial.
|Filemp credits73.ogg
|-
|mp_credits74
|Chews with mouth open.
|Filemp credits74.ogg
|-
|mp_credits75
|Breathes with mouth open.
|Filemp credits75.ogg
|-
|mp_credits76
|Old.
|Filemp credits76.ogg
|-
|mp_credits77
|Histrionic.
|Filemp credits77.ogg
|-
|mp_credits79
|Narcissist.
|Filemp credits79.ogg
|-
|mp_credits80
|Long bathroom breaks.
|Filemp credits80.ogg
|-
|mp_credits81
|No sense of humor.
|Filemp credits81.ogg
|-
|mp_credits82
|Argumentative.
|Filemp credits82.ogg
|-
|mp_credits83
|Manipulative.
|Filemp credits83.ogg
|-
|mp_credits84
|Charmless.
|Filemp credits84.ogg
|-
|mp_credits85
|Egotistical.
|Filemp credits85.ogg
|-
|mp_credits86
|Lacks charisma.
|Filemp credits86.ogg
|-
|mp_credits87
|Passive-aggressive.
|Filemp credits87.ogg
|-
|mp_credits88
|Undermines others.
|Filemp credits88.ogg
|-
|mp_credits89
|Hairless. Hm.
|Filemp credits89.ogg
|-
|mp_credits90
|Emotional problems.
|Filemp credits90.ogg
|-
|mp_credits91
|Problems with authority.
|Filemp credits91.ogg
|-
|mp_credits92
|Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
|Filemp credits92.ogg
|-
|mp_credits93
|Abrasive personality.
|Filemp credits93.ogg
|-
|mp_credits94
|Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
|Filemp credits94.ogg
|-
|mp_death01
|Just stop it already.
|Filemp death01.ogg
|-
|mp_death04
|And that makes 10.
|Filemp death04.ogg
|-
|mp_death05
|You really don't need to keep failing.
|Filemp death05.ogg
|-
|mp_death06
|If at first you don't succeed, fail 5 more times.
|Filemp death06.ogg
|-
|mp_death08
|If I made these tests any easier, they wouldn't be tests.
|Filemp death08.ogg
|-
|mp_death10
|Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
|Filemp death10.ogg
|-
|mp_death11
|Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
|Filemp death11.ogg
|-
|mp_death12
|Are you testing me?
|Filemp death12.ogg
|-
|mp_death16
|Did you know, the reassembly machine has other things it could be reassembling?
|Filemp death16.ogg
|-
|mp_death17
|Did you think that would be funny?
|Filemp death17.ogg
|-
|mp_death18
|How can you fail at this? It isn't even a test.
|Filemp death18.ogg
|-
|mp_death19
|I hope that was some kind of joke.
|Filemp death19.ogg
|-
|mp_death20
|I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
|Filemp death20.ogg
|-
|mp_death21
|And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
|Filemp death21.ogg
|-
|mp_death22
|That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
|Filemp death22.ogg
|-
|mp_death23
|Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
|Filemp death23.ogg
|-
|mp_death24
|Blue, why did you do that to Orange?
|Filemp death24.ogg
|-
|mp_death26
|Was that necessary?
|Filemp death26.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn01
|Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
|Filemp hubreturn01.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn02
|Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
|Filemp hubreturn02.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn03
|Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
|Filemp hubreturn03.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn04
|If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
|Filemp hubreturn04.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn05
|Back again?  Maybe you can just stay and live here in the hub?
|Filemp hubreturn05.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn06
|Back again?  Maybe you can just stay and live here.
|Filemp hubreturn06.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn07
|I guess quitting that course together is a sign of teamwork.
|Filemp hubreturn07.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn08
|The way you two just gave up on that test together shows you are really working as a team.
|Filemp hubreturn08.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn09
|Are you scared to save those humans?
|Filemp hubreturn09.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn10
|Are you scared to save those humans?
|Filemp hubreturn10.ogg
|-
|mp_hubreturn11
|Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
|Filemp hubreturn11.ogg
|-
|mp_hub_return01a
|Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. laughs
|Filemp hub return01a.ogg
|-
|mp_hub_return02a
|Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
|Filemp hub return02a.ogg
|-
|mp_hub_return03a
|Welcome back, testing is available.
|Filemp hub return03a.ogg
|-
|mp_hub_return04a
|Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
|Filemp hub return04a.ogg
|-
|mp_hub_return05a
|Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
|Filemp hub return05a.ogg
|-
|mp_hub_return06a
|Was that course too difficult?
|Filemp hub return06a.ogg
|-
|mp_humanresources01
|Did you know we originally used these cameras to capture moments of intense pain and agony in test subjects?
|Filemp humanresources01.ogg
|-
|mp_humanresources03
|If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5.  If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
|Filemp humanresources03.ogg
|-
|mp_humanresources04
|The photos weren't as popular as we had hoped, so we repurposed the cameras.
|Filemp humanresources04.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge01
|Blue, it's not nice to make fun of Orange like that.
|Filemp subterfuge01.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge02
|Orange, it's not nice to make fun of Blue like that.
|Filemp subterfuge02.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge03
|Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
|Filemp subterfuge03.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge04
|That's horrible.
|Filemp subterfuge04.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge05
|I can only imagine.
|Filemp subterfuge05.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge06
|What a horrible little machine.
|Filemp subterfuge06.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge07
|Correct Blue, Orange can't hear you.
|Filemp subterfuge07.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge08
|Orange did what? Are you sure?
|Filemp subterfuge08.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge09
|Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
|Filemp subterfuge09.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge10
|Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
|Filemp subterfuge10.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge11
|Orange, how well do you really know Blue?  Do you trust Blue?
|Filemp subterfuge11.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge13
|Orange, to be clear.  I was just asking Blue if he trusted you.
|Filemp subterfuge13.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge14
|I trust you.  You are my favorite cooperative testing subject.
|Filemp subterfuge14.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge15
|Blue to be clear, I was asking if Orange trusted you.
|Filemp subterfuge15.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge16_alt
|Sorry I missed the beginning of that test.  I was just talking with the reassembly machine about your becoming human.
|Filemp subterfuge16 alt.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge17
|We all agree you should stop.
|Filemp subterfuge17.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge21
|Orange, I agree. I never noticed that about Blue before.
|Filemp subterfuge21.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge22
|Blue, I agree. I never noticed that about Orange before.
|Filemp subterfuge22.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge23
|Blue, Orange and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
|Filemp subterfuge23.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge24
|I have to agree. Blue is penalized 75 science collaboration points.
|Filemp subterfuge24.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge25
|Orange, Blue and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
|Filemp subterfuge25.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge26
|I have to agree. Orange is penalized 75 science collaboration points.
|Filemp subterfuge26.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge30
|There you are, reassembled again.
|Filemp subterfuge30.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge32
|With humans, I would have called that a successful test.
|Filemp subterfuge32.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge33
|How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
|Filemp subterfuge33.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge34
|How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
|Filemp subterfuge34.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge35
|Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
|Filemp subterfuge35.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge36
|I have noticed you two have become extremely close.  I'm not sure I like that.
|Filemp subterfuge36.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge39
|While teamwork is needed to complete these tests, I am not sure I trust the two of you together.
|Filemp subterfuge39.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge44
|Blue, do you feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you?
|Filemp subterfuge44.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge45
|If Orange had said those things about me, Orange would never make it to the next reassembly station.
|Filemp subterfuge45.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge46
|Orange, do you feel betrayed by Blue for telling me those horrible things about you?
|Filemp subterfuge46.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge47
|If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
|Filemp subterfuge47.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfugedeath_blue01
|You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
|Filemp subterfugedeath blue01.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfugedeath_blue02
|Orange, that transpired just as you said it would.
|Filemp subterfugedeath blue02.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfugedeath_blue03
|I agree, Orange. That was entertaining.
|Filemp subterfugedeath blue03.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfugedeath_blue04
|Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
|Filemp subterfugedeath blue04.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfugedeath_orange02
|Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
|Filemp subterfugedeath orange02.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfugedeath_orange03
|I agree, Blue. That was entertaining.
|Filemp subterfugedeath orange03.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfugedeath_orange06
|Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
|Filemp subterfugedeath orange06.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfugedeath_orange08
|Blue, being the last one standing is not the goal.
|Filemp subterfugedeath orange08.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge_misc05
|Credit where credit's due you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
|Filemp subterfuge misc05.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge_misc06
|I just hate Blue a little more.
|Filemp subterfuge misc06.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge_misc07
|I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
|Filemp subterfuge misc07.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge_misc11
|Watching you try to sabotage one other, I'm amazed you're still on friendly terms.
|Filemp subterfuge misc11.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge_misc14
|Blue, please disregard the following statement Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
|Filemp subterfuge misc14.ogg
|-
|mp_subterfuge_misc16
|I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand.  Blue Orange is plotting to destroy you.
|Filemp subterfuge misc16.ogg
|-
|mp_taunts01
|Come on. You were raised better than that.
|Filemp taunts01.ogg
|-
|mp_taunts02
|Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
|Filemp taunts02.ogg
|-
|mp_taunts03
|You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
|Filemp taunts03.ogg
|-
|mp_taunts04
|Your eagerness to test pleases me. Your inane gesturing does not.
|Filemp taunts04.ogg
|-
|mp_taunts05
|Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
|Filemp taunts05.ogg
|-
|mp_taunts06
|DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
|Filemp taunts06.ogg
|-
|multiple_spheres01
|Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
|Filemultiple spheres01.ogg
|-
|taunt_big_wave01
|Keep it up and your arm will get stuck like that.
|Filetaunt big wave01.ogg
|-
|taunt_big_wave02
|Hellllooo, imbecile.
|Filetaunt big wave02.ogg
|-
|taunt_big_wave05
|Yes, I see you.
|Filetaunt big wave05.ogg
|-
|taunt_big_wave06
|I'm seriously not paying atten— STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
|Filetaunt big wave06.ogg
|-
|taunt_big_wave07
|Yes, I see you waving.
|Filetaunt big wave07.ogg
|-
|taunt_cannonball01
|Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
|Filetaunt cannonball01.ogg
|-
|taunt_cannonball02
|I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
|Filetaunt cannonball02.ogg
|-
|taunt_cannonball03
|Did something happen? yawn I wasn't watching.
|Filetaunt cannonball03.ogg
|-
|taunt_highfive01
|That is not part of the test.
|Filetaunt highfive01.ogg
|-
|taunt_highfive03
|Slapping hands. That accomplishes something.
|Filetaunt highfive03.ogg
|-
|taunt_highfive04
|If you're going to hit each other, at least aim for the head.
|Filetaunt highfive04.ogg
|-
|taunt_laugh01
|You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
|Filetaunt laugh01.ogg
|-
|taunt_laugh02
|You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
|Filetaunt laugh02.ogg
|-
|taunt_laugh03
|Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
|Filetaunt laugh03.ogg
|-
|taunt_laugh05
|Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
|Filetaunt laugh05.ogg
|-
|taunt_laugh06
|Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
|Filetaunt laugh06.ogg
|-
|taunt_robot_arm_ripple01
|Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
|Filetaunt robot arm ripple01.ogg
|-
|taunt_robot_arm_ripple02
|Really, not even humans do that anymore.
|Filetaunt robot arm ripple02.ogg
|-
|taunt_robot_arm_ripple03
|You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
|Filetaunt robot arm ripple03.ogg
|-
|taunt_robot_arm_ripple04
|Look at you. Dancing.
|Filetaunt robot arm ripple04.ogg
|-
|taunt_robot_arm_ripple05
|If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test.  Now you know.
|Filetaunt robot arm ripple05.ogg
|-
|taunt_robot_arm_ripple06
|Oh great, dancing again.
|Filetaunt robot arm ripple06.ogg
|-
|taunt_rockpaperscissors01
|I defy you to tell me there's a purpose to what you're doing.
|Filetaunt rockpaperscissors01.ogg
|-
|taunt_small_wave01
|Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
|Filetaunt small wave01.ogg
|-
|taunt_small_wave02
|Yes? Something you need?
|Filetaunt small wave02.ogg
|-
|taunt_small_wave03
|You do know I can't wave back right?
|Filetaunt small wave03.ogg
|-
|taunt_small_wave04
|Stop with the waves.
|Filetaunt small wave04.ogg
|-
|taunt_small_wave_portalgun01
|Are you trying to get my attention? I am very busy, you know.
|Filetaunt small wave portalgun01.ogg
|-
|taunt_small_wave_portalgun02
|Not paying attennnntion...
|Filetaunt small wave portalgun02.ogg
|-
|taunt_small_wave_portalgun03
|Are you expecting applause?
|Filetaunt small wave portalgun03.ogg
|-
|taunt_somersault01
|I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
|Filetaunt somersault01.ogg
|-
|taunt_somersault02
|A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
|Filetaunt somersault02.ogg
|-
|taunt_somersault03
|If I stop watching, I'm sure you'll get bored of this.
|Filetaunt somersault03.ogg
|-
|taunt_splits01
|All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
|Filetaunt splits01.ogg
|-
|taunt_splits02
|All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
|Filetaunt splits02.ogg
|-
|taunt_splits03
|You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
|Filetaunt splits03.ogg
|-
|taunt_teamhug01
|It appears you're developing human traits. The worst human traits.
|Filetaunt teamhug01.ogg
|-
|taunt_teamhug02
|Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
|Filetaunt teamhug02.ogg
|-
|taunt_teamhug03
|Stop touching each other!
|Filetaunt teamhug03.ogg
|-
|taunt_teamtease01
|Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
|Filetaunt teamtease01.ogg
|-
|taunt_teamtease02
|I'll interpret that gesture to mean that you want me to become even more vindictive toward you.
|Filetaunt teamtease02.ogg
|-
|taunt_teamtease03
|Orange, I certainly expected more from you.
|Filetaunt teamtease03.ogg
|-
|taunt_teamtease04
|Blue, don't sink to Orange's level.
|Filetaunt teamtease04.ogg
|-
|taunt_trickfire_handstand01
|Now you're thinking with stupidity.
|Filetaunt trickfire handstand01.ogg
|-
|taunt_trickfire_handstand02
|Now you're just not thinking.
|Filetaunt trickfire handstand02.ogg
|-
|taunt_trickfire_handstand03
|Congratulations. You're upside down now.
|Filetaunt trickfire handstand03.ogg
|-
|taunt_trickfire_handstand04
|You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
|Filetaunt trickfire handstand04.ogg
|-
|taunt_trickfire_handstand05
|I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
|Filetaunt trickfire handstand05.ogg
|-
|}

{|class=wikitable border="1" style=width90%
|-
!width=15%|Filename(s)
!Quote
!width=10%|Play
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro24 and mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro24 ''(subtitle name)''
|You did it! You really did it! All your testing was worth it!
|FileCine coop annex 01.ogg
|-
|mp_finalmovie_testsubjects02, mp_finalmovie_testing01 and mp_finalmovie_science03 ''(subtitle name)''
|Just look at all those test subjects! Think of all the testing! You saved science!
|FileCine coop annex 02.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_introexit10 ''(subtitle name)''
|Enough celebrating, we have more work to do.
|FileCine coop annex 03.ogg
|-
|mp_coop_paint_longjump_introexit11 ''(subtitle name)''
|Let the science begin!
|FileCine coop annex 04.ogg
|-
|}

{{Quotes}}
CategoryQuotes by character